It's Time to See and Be Seen

It's time to see and be seen.

Champagne was popped, movies were rented, fireworks sailed, some called it an early night, others partied all night. However you ushered it in, we all arrived in the same place: Hello 2020. 

Amid the resolutions and hopes, opportunities and goals, 2020 brings a chance to see and be seen. I'm not talking about showing up at new restaurants or built-up cocktail parties. I'm talking about finding the courage this year to share yourself with the rest of us. I’m talking about pausing, reflecting, taking in your world and your community, and in the process, finding more of yourself, connecting more with the people you love, and giving others the chance to see more of you.

Ready to Challenge Yourself? 

I've been thinking about letters a lot recently. Maybe it was sparked by rereading a book about two friends who wrote each other letters for a year. Or maybe it was looking through the huge box of letters I've saved over the years that I found over Thanksgiving at my parents' house. But I was really reminded of the power of letters when I came home last week to a package from an old friend. She had reached out throughout the year with concerns that many of my clients face: What was next in her career journey? What risks were worth taking? What was really important? What wasn't? As her friend (and not as her coach), I had offered my time and experience to help her answer those questions for herself. So this delightful package was a thank you gift with one lovely coffee tumbler she knew I would love, and two priceless additions: (1) a handwritten card brimming over with thought and care and gratitude, and (2) an update that she had accepted a new job that she was "genuinely excited to begin."

One glance at the handwriting and I was transported back to high school, when she and I had met on a summer trip abroad. She was from Vancouver and by random luck we ended up as roommates for the first leg of the adventure and it was instant connection. Six weeks and countless memories later, we said goodbye, me heading back to my home in Atlanta, and her heading to hers thousands of miles away in Canada.

At the time, calling Canada was a much bigger deal than it is today, so thus began a years-long exchange of letters. Some short. Some long. Some outdated by the time they arrived. Some completely timeless. Years later we found ourselves living in the same city, and our mailboxes had less reason to be full. We could meet for coffee and discuss life's adventures and woes rather than write about them. And then there were times we parted ways -- when all that had connected us in earlier years felt less sticky, less sturdy, and there were no coffees, no calls, and no letters. 

So as I stood in my kitchen the other day, holding this card close to my chest, with true joy for having been able to help her, deep gratitude that we had made our way backed into each other's lives in an honest and unforced way, and clear awareness that she really knew me, really saw me, and that I too knew her and saw her, I set my intention for 2020: To see and be seen. 

How am I going to do that? Handwritten letters. Every week. I've made a list of about 10 people -- ranging in age, familiarity, location and relationship. Each week I'm going to send a handwritten letter to at least one of them. 

Sometimes I'll use beautiful cards that I like to collect for special moments, other times I'm sure I'll be grabbing whatever paper is in arm's reach. I won't always write something super momentous. And sometimes I will. I won't always write long letters. And sometimes I will. I won't always know what the point of my letter is. And sometimes I will. I won't always like what I write. And sometimes I will. I won't always remember to drop it in the mailbox on time. But I'll try really hard and forgive myself when I don't and pick up my pen again the next week. 

So here's my challenge to you:

1. Make a list of your people – the lucky folks who might get a letter from you. Your list can be short or long. It can grow and shrink over time. Or you can commit to one recipient all year long. 

2. Write when you want. Same time, same place; different times all the time; whenever it works for you.

3. Write a lot. Write a little. Write however much you want. 

4. Pick your pace. If weekly sounds daunting, make it every two weeks or every month. Even at every month that would probably put me at 12 more handwritten letters to friends than I wrote last year. And yet still, someone else will find a daily letter-writing ritual appealing. Set your pace for a meaningful challenge for yourself.

5. Do it your way. Change it up when you need to. There's no way to get this wrong.

Join me. You too can see and be seen.
 
Over the year, and especially in the coming weeks as we’re settling into our new challenge, I'll share reminders and some ideas for topics. I'll share my list and my thoughts. Get your friends to do it too.

Let me know you're in. Because it's more fun together.
 
With best wishes for all the good things that 2020 will bring you -- hopefully connection, reconnection, time for pause, moments to capture, stories to share, and a whole lot of mail.