Maximize the Honoring
One of the key things to know about coaching is that it’s detached from outcomes. It’s not about immediately fixing or solving a crisis. Coaching is process-oriented, creative, and explorative. There is joy in the process, joy in the effort of the work every session and every season of the year.
But in this season in particular, I get to experience another joy. Anyone who’s been part of the Parachute community for a while has been on the receiving end of one of my absolute favorite things to do every year: gifting.
When I was talking to a colleague of mine about what I might do for this year’s Parachute gifts, she said: “Wow, another year, and it’s time for your ritual to begin.” Now, anyone who has worked with me knows I’m not woo-woo (not that you have to be woo-woo to love a good ritual!), so I probably wouldn’t have named that as such for myself. But she is absolutely right.
Every year in late summer I start getting ideas, feeling the anticipation and excitedly wondering, What will it be this year? By December my hands are busy stamping, stuffing, folding, and creating my own holiday expressions. I don’t maximize efficiency, I don’t outsource. Without a care in the world for the fact that some ROI-optimizer might tell me the effort wasn’t worth it, I count things out, fill things up, and do my best to deliver a concrete item that tells the community what I feel: I believe in you and the work we’ve done together.
When I was training to become a coach, I was in a practice session where a colleague of mine in the same program was coaching me. For whatever reason, the topic we were discussing was my sister’s upcoming wedding and the toast I was going to deliver and the pressure I felt (all self-imposed) to make it shine. “I understand where you are coming from,” she said. “You want to maximize the honoring.” To this day that phrase (perhaps not even grammatically correct, but we didn’t care) captures so perfectly the intersection of joy and effort. All I wanted was for my sister and her (then) new husband to feel seen and celebrated; I didn’t need praise or wows from the guests. I just wanted them to feel the love.
That same feeling is what fuels the gifts at Parachute too. I want people to feel seen for who they are and celebrated for the work they did. I don’t expect responses or thank-yous. (Being human, I do get a thrill when people reach out to say it made them smile.) Overall, I just genuinely love reflecting on the ever-growing list of lives that have joined the community, and thinking that each person will be opening a little something from me as they continue to navigate the ups and downs of their careers, leadership and life.
As we experience this year’s holiday season with yet another round of questions and concerns for what celebrating together might look like, I hope you will all find your own way to maximize the honoring.
If you’re part of the Parachute community and you’ve moved, let us know so we can send the joy to the right place!
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